"Doctor? There’s a new patient in four." Nurse Larkin added softly: "A child, age five. It isn’t so bad."

Dr. Anthony sighed. "Fracture, or extraction?"

"Extraction. It’s another light bulb." The nurse grimaced and handed over the chart. She was new but had already learned that Nicholas Anthony had no patience for certain types of injuries.

"Where is it lodged? Ear canal?"

"No, nasal cavity. I haven’t heard the whole story but it seems to involve an older brother and a dare."

"It always does. What does the brother say?"

"That it isn’t his fault. He’s using the Darwin defense."

"I see. Well, he may be right. Some people really are too stupid to live. This is a small twinkle light, isn’t it? Not a large outdoor one?"

"Of course, doctor." The nurse was shocked.

"There is no of course about it, Nurse Larkin. You’ll learn that soon enough."

"Doctor? I’m sorry."

Dr. Anthony’s eyes narrowed. I’m sorry was a clue. They only said that with a certain kind of injury.

"Yes?"

"We have a compound fracture coming up from x-ray. He’s being taken to six. I’m afraid he’s very verbal."

"I see. Roof?"

"Yes," she said reluctantly.

"Lights, or Santa Claus?"

"Santa -- they already removed the costume," she added hastily.

"Santa. So there is alcohol involved?"

"Um, yes. Quite a lot. But he’s been sick several times, so much of it has been purged. The only lingering effect is that he won’t stop cursing."

"Doctor. We have a child, Jeff Santos, in one." The nurse’s face was a study in blankness.

"What’s wrong? Not a car accident?" That was his greatest dread, seeing the small bodies crushed and lacerated because forgetful parents hadn’t used child safety-seats.

"Oh no! Nothing as bad as that. He’s just swallowed a bell and his mother is tired of listening to him jingle and wants us to uh— make it stop. Apparently this has happened before."

"I see. Perhaps I’d better have a word with Mrs. Santos about what constitutes an appropriate diet for a child."

"Doctor, we have a slight problem in number seven. It’s a potential facial trauma."

"Potential?" Nicholas raised an eyebrow. He didn’t usually see accidents before they happened. At least, not in the E.R.. People weren’t that far-sighted about planning their emergencies.

"Well, Mr. Cleary was having trouble keeping his beard on at the Christmas party and asked one of the elves to bring his facial adhesive. Only the child couldn’t find the make-up kit. So instead he brought some super glue. The tubes looked the same so…."

Dr. Anthony sighed.

"This is why people should always wear their glasses."

"Mr. Cleary forgot those too. He was running late. This is a very busy season for rent-a-Santa."

"I see. And does Mr. Cleary have a real beard, or is he clean shaven?"

"He has a beard."

"Then he is a lucky man."

"You know how to get super glue out of hair?" the nurse asked hopefully.

"No. But it shouldn’t be any worse than a waxing."

"But that kind of hair removal is very painful," the nurse pointed out.

"Not as painful as having your skin ripped off," Nick replied callously.

"You already have. Several times, in fact." In point of fact, he hadn’t said anything except to ask the staff not to mention Christmas shopping in his presence until the Thanksgiving leftovers were gone. It seemed indecent to even consider Christmas before December. But that time was past, and he couldn’t expect those who had made care-taking a profession to ignore what they saw as his weakness, so Nick added politely: "Thank you."

"Yes, but, Doctor, it’s after twelve now -- that means it’s Christmas Eve. You actually have to do your shopping today. There’s no putting off any longer."

"Christmas Eve?" Suddenly Dr. Anthony looked more cheerful and Nurse Gwynn noticed how attractive he was. "Why so it is."

"You’re happy about going to see your family?" the nurse asked naively as she handed him the patient’s chart.

"Don’t be ridiculous." Dr. Anthony pushed through the curtain around the bed in room three. "Christmas Eve means that we only have one more week of this stupid holiday madness. Eight days from now and we can go back to normal, reasonable emergencies like car accidents and gunshots wounds."

Nicholas didn’t see, but the nurse wrinkled her nose at him and then stuck out her tongue. The patient in the bed was in less pain now that the drugs were kicking in and he managed a small laugh at this act of rebellion.

"I’m glad to see you are in high spirits, Mister Anderson," Nick said gently as he examined the compound fracture. Bone was protruding from the skin in two places. "We’re going to get you fixed up. It won’t be too bad. As my grandmother always said: you’ll be as good as new in two shakes of a lamb’s tail."

"Son," Mister Anderson answered looking down at his leg. "I don’t mean to be impolite, but you’re grandma must have either been nuts or a damned liar."